Blog / Teachable Moments
written by Linda Chan Rapp, mother of Eden Rapp
During the winter of 2020, as I was calling my family for dinner, I heard my daughter Eden’s voice coming from the hallway bathroom:
“The faucet is hard to turn…”
My husband Cliff, who had just sat down at the dining table, sympathetically agreed as she came to the table, “Yeah, that faucet is really stiff!”
We proceeded with grace, and digging into the pasta and veggies, we enjoyed a leisurely meal, laughing and talking over our day and what we were learning. Cliff and Eden then thoughtfully cleared their dishes and left the kitchen while I began putting away the leftovers.
Then suddenly, I heard my husband gently exclaim from the bathroom in a shocked but deliberately calm tone:
“Uhhhhh--- Eden? You should have told us the faucet was hard to turn off?!!”
Life is full of teachable moments, isn’t it!
Well, after that tap, which had been happily running all during dinner, was finally shut off, the three of us sat down to review our little communication gap. The good news? Eden had tried to let us know there was a problem. Yay! That’s pretty huge! However, we needed to help her think through the next steps:
Once she recognizes a problem, then she needs the vocabulary and pragmatic knowledge to explain the situation in a way that will alert us that she needs help -- through her tone of voice -- and by describing the problem in a way we can understand the issue too. Her comment, “The faucet is hard to turn,” was mistakenly taken to mean a simple statement of fact, that is, the tap was stiff, not that she could not shut off the water. Also, it is important to get our attention with phrases like “Help!!” or "I need help [doing such and such!]" or "I can't [turn off the water!] or even just "Can you help me?! "
Incidentally, this particular teachable moment led to my daughter’s first “home-care-and-repair" date with my husband… She not only learned how to take her bathroom tap apart so it could be cleaned out and inspected to find out why the taps stuck, but she also learned how to replace the washers. Teachable moments have the potential to generate all sorts of positive changes!
To learn to avoid mistakes, one often needs to make mistakes and learn from them. That’s one of the reasons why I am so thankful that my daughter decided to leave her comfortable routine at home and her job and started studying independent living at Shepherds College, a vocational training school that also teaches individuals with cognitive or developmental delays Appropriate Independence™ in a variety of settings while strengthening their faith. Although I really miss her, Eden’s being away from home and working through unfamiliar situations in her dorm is speeding up the number of teachable moments she encounters. Through this experience, she is learning to self-monitor, to turn to God in her difficulties, and to regularly process what she is learning with her advisor and trusted friends.
Connie Vincent, one of Eden’s favorite student life staff workers there, shared some wise advice regarding teachable moments – namely that it is important to:
“...Recognize that mistakes we make are opportunities to learn from [because they] give us knowledge of areas for growth.”
As Eden continues her studies in Appropriate Independence and culinary arts at Shepherds, my prayer is that God will enable her teachable moments to continue to be a springboard for more growth!